*XillionZGinger

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Wannabe Novelist
Female/United States
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Deviant since Feb 1, 2004, 1:42 PM
Subscribed until Jan 4, 2009, 6:43 PM

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I lie awake and

you kiss me with your hate lips and I wonder if this makes me dishonest. your past is all over my teeth, now, stained and spilling out everywhere.
this is not easy for me; I pull you back and fear that heavy breath will lose meaning.
you give me silence and don't say how you tear at yourself. I lay my face on your chest and have never felt so lonely.

Recent Deviations

after the love-makingIt was his love that pushed me. True, the fall was both deliberate and inevitable, but that did not mean the absence of pressure-- the weight of the waves crashing above me, pulling me down, making me teary-eyed and restless. I didn't know a heart could be so dense.
When we broke the surface, I felt the weight of the world upon me. I clung to him helplessly, hopelessly, realizing the nakedness of my raw self, completely unashamed.
I tried to dig my nails into his skin. I tried to crawl into his heart. I screamed and sobbed and felt every last current between us, pulling us, forcing apart our lives.
I agg after the love-making
in Perspectives 1w 6d ago

everyone is a free spiritwhen I feel chained to the earth, when my own heart denies itself, I bury it in the flower-beds and wait.
I have never grown a second, but while I stand there, soaking in sunlight, separated from my true self, the pain reminds me:
happiness is completeness, happiness is free. everyone is a free spirit
in Open on 7/25/08

To Love A WallThere was a wall whose stones I kissed and, though I tried to leave, I loved that wall with selfless heart for everything it could be.
And though, I knew, it was in vain, I kissed its stones again; for no matter what my mind would think, I could not tear my heart away.
I knew the wall would always be and only watch me go; it was our past that worried me, I could not have it haunt me so!
I turned and walked and when I looked, I looked without regret. And when I saw my heart clung there, my mind still thought it fit.
My he To Love A Wall
in Open on 4/18/08

Upon CalculationWhen I left, I could hardly carry my own heart out the door. So I gave everything to you.
I tried scrubbing your dirt off my bones until I got down to my raw self and realized nothing was left besides anger and heart-break and stain. So I drank bleach instead.

The person I am now doesn’t miss anything as much as the truth. Upon Calculation
in Open on 3/16/08

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dilated.

Dilate.
My girlfriend and I are lying on a rug on some distant beach; we're cuddled up under a thick Guatemalan blanket. There is a fire roaring just in front of us, our bellies full of home cooked bread and freshly caught fish. Around us there is only the slightest of breezes, just enough to make skin feel alive.
The beach itself stretches beyond view in both directions, like wings spreading from the body of us. We're lent against a mound of sand we have built up as a back and behind it begins the first few clumps of dune grass - almost like a heartbeat before the dunes themselves dilated
by *Barnaby

Siren Of The Sea
by `larafairie

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responsibility of the poet

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 7, 2007, 11:41 PM

Mood: Shame

I feel like I used to be much better at this.

No Comments | Previous Journal Entries

Devious Information

Current Age: 17
Tools of the Trade: hips and hearts

Devious Comments

*Barnaby

Aug 22, 2008, 3:16:12 AM

I make a point of getting around to replying to all those that fav my work

thank you so much

sorry again for the late response

--
"No doubt I shall go on writing, stumbling across tundras of unmeaning, planting words like bloody flags in my wake."
—Cain's Book - Alexander Trocchi

~RunicBard

Nov 1, 2007, 6:17:08 PM Mood: Joy

Excellent story!

You have a special gift. Keep it close to you.

--
Unfortunately, things often really are what they seem.

Hidden By Owner

!laurythompson

Aug 29, 2007, 1:03:49 AMComment hidden by Owner

This comment is hidden and not visible to general public.

~truehead

Jul 29, 2007, 6:34:47 AM

hey thanks for stoppin by my page and for the fav!

--
donuts.

~Angelicotter

Jun 27, 2007, 10:19:54 PM

Thanks for the favs!

--
*Quod me nutrit me destruit*~So this is how liberty dies...with thunderous applause.~

~SoveriegnofSilence

Jun 23, 2007, 7:15:37 PM

Thanks for being bored with me.
ONE DAY I WILL BE TAN.
AND WE SHALL PARTY LIKE ROCKSTARS.

I love you.

--
But me,
I'm a single cell
on a serpent's tounge.

~FireSoulPhoenix

May 12, 2007, 8:28:48 AM

I miss you. And your writing.

--
Why Not?

~eclipsed-mind

Jan 8, 2007, 11:18:22 PM

Thank you

--
I refuse to starve my inner child. She is my soul, my mind, she is me...simplified - and she is my ultimate happiness.

Store

~givememyshoe

Jan 8, 2007, 12:16:36 AM

thankyou so

--
Un artista è libero in ogni parola, ogni amore, ogni vera immagine reale.

~FireSoulPhoenix

Nov 7, 2006, 10:07:27 AM Mood: Joy

Happy anniversary of escaping of the womb, you scorpio, you.

(November 6th was it?)

--
Why Not?

~yourgayneighbour

Nov 2, 2006, 12:05:59 AM

thank you !

~mediocre-matt

Sep 25, 2006, 2:29:49 AM

thanks :]

--
_{mattcaplin.com myspace flickr}

~yournotagoodbye

Aug 11, 2006, 6:10:37 PM

awh, thanks.

--
i smile to direct his attention from the rest of this sinking ship.

~Afri

Jul 26, 2006, 9:58:34 PM

thx a lot for the

--
!el pueblo unido jamás será vencido!
check out my gallery

~xXdr0psXx

Jul 24, 2006, 3:26:21 PM

thank you for the fav!

--
^{hold on to me darling, I've got nowhere else to go...}

`tangledweb

Jul 9, 2006, 11:59:57 AM

Just stopping by to thank you for the support of your watch over the last year, it's much appreciated.

--
*official website
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*JPG Magazine

~schrodingersnextcat

Jun 26, 2006, 4:44:06 AM

Haha, thanks for the favorite, I think

--
You never did the Kenosha Kid.

~BloodyCheerleader

Jun 22, 2006, 10:35:03 AM

thanks

~67shadesofgrey

Jun 5, 2006, 6:50:04 AM

thanks for the favorite! much appreciated.

--
yes, i believe in love. yes, i'm a dreamer.
but i'm not alone, there are more of us than you suspect.
and we've got bombs.
truth and beauty bombs.
[link]

~zebrazebrazebra